when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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