Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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