Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
