Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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