The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
