So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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