He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
