did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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