Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize