Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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