It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Your cock deserves a montage
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize