Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
