I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
