I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
