are you still at the devil's house?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
