Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
