Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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