He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jerry, you need to find god
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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