I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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