I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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