So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
God I need to hump something, right now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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