You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
