I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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