He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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