Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
