i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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