something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
