brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was so not down for the gang bang
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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