I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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