is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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