there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
