maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
