That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
