There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
