1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
