Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
