Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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