the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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