OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
