I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
