just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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