I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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