i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Drake has all the answers
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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