Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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