wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
