i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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