Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
is it fun? or sober?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
