i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
