You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
