i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize