So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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