Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
