This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
