Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
