i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
