just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
