in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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