she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
