Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.