id be glad to
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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