im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I accidentally burped into my bong.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
