apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
