biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You need Xanax blowdarts
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
