my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
