Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I could make wine with my vomit
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
