yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
