Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
