I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
