Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
