Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
